I ate my first of 3 Thanksgiving dinners this year tonight, complete with green bean casserole made with love and condensed soup and also two kinds of pie. My mom told me I had a wild look in my eye. I was raised to believe in the apocalypse, is the thing, and then I went and spent my life living and working in communities of people who have seen their lives crumble in front of them. I don't seem to have much middle ground in my feelings. The world is gorgeous and amazing and a gift and it is all full of suffering and death and destruction.
But I drank sparkling cranberry juice tonight and talked about politics with family and survived. We gathered together a week or two early because we were celebrating a friend who is heading off into a recovery program, a friend who is currently blowing up my phone with all sorts of hilarious and stupid and funny memes. She is trying to cheer me up. It is helping, at least a little bit. It is helping for now.