today at church I got to talk for a bit and it felt good. there was a choir singing this morning, a special treat. the choir was mostly people from the larger parent church, and it packed out our little place. the worship was like being at a party. the songs were so loud, led by an amazing woman. I couldn't decide what to do: close my eyes and clap my hands loud or look closely at all of those faces singing loudly for their Lord? you know what, I chose the latter. I couldn't decide which were my favorite faces: all of those old, white men in the back row, deeply serious and heartfelt? the young, hip girls in the front row, all earnestness and curled hair? no, I think my favorite was a guy right in the middle. he had long hair and a long beard and was dressed in coveralls, like a very neat and tidy mechanic. it was half duck dynasty and half weirdo portland. he shut his eyes so very tight and he was sang his absolute guts out. oh, to sing with such abandon. i tried to do it a bit myself. I still have a long way to go, the world is still so very loud in my ears. But I have a good song to sing, and I will keep practicing.